Club for Growth

Deep Thoughts by Vanessa Kerry: "Oh gosh, how long is he going to go on and on and on? Why are democrats so boring? Maybe I shouldn't have worn these pearls. I wonder if I look too much like Madonna during her "Like a Virgin" years? I'm showing my age. Those stupid Bush twins always look so cute. I hate them. Is he still talking? I should recommend to Al that he needs to have his hair done by dad's stylist. He could really use a makeover. I wish Ben were here. Hmmmm...ok, wake up Vanessa, wake up! Look interested, look intelligent. Maybe we should have put more signs up, yeah...that would have made things more interesting. Oh, who am I kidding, our graphic design team is soooo 70s. I wonder if Wendy's still serves breakfast after 10:30, I'm starving..."

Al Franken gives a press conference to endorse John Kerry in the state of Iowa. Mr Franken apparently did not notice he was speaking in front of empty seats. When told of his lack of audience, Franken said "That's OK. I'm used to it with my radio show."

Vanessa Kerry looks on as Al Franken speaks at press conference endorsing John Kerry. All the while she's wondering why she got stuck stumping in Iowa of all places, with this guy.

Al Franken explains that the new campaign theme "Franken-Kerry Tours Iowa" is about he and Vanessa appearing together and is NOT a reference to the October 31 Halloween party for Senator Kerry.

"Folks, I'm sorry I left my dentures home, but I'm also sorry to say that Phil here, our next to last survivor, has just voted Vanessa off the island."

(Would Dad give him mouth to mouth if I tried to drown him like that stupid hamster.)

Al Franken - No, I am not writing a book about Sen. Kerry called 'Whiplashed Silence, A Look at John Kerry's Policies and his Senate Record'.

I wonder if he can pull some strings to get ME on Saturday Night Live ??

Hi, I'm Al Franken and I'd like to thank you both for coming. I'm here today with a very exciting announcement. My radio show on Air America is expanding to Ohio. Which now gives us a whopping three markets. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Thanks mom, dad. Oh Vanessa. Would you mind sitting with my folks. With a tight camera shot, three people in the front row might look respectable.

I wonder what kind of real job Mommie Dearest wants me to get? Can I marry a rich heiress? And when is Al going to get back to his real job, kissing up to father and Uncle Teddie?

As Al Franken tries to set the "record" straight on Senator John Kerry many positions, Vanessa Kerry is thinking no dad was for... no against.... wait.. what do I really know???

Vanessa Kerry listens to al franken speak as she thinks to herself "I was for stuart smalley before I knew who al franken was"

Wait Till Dad Hears I'm
Pregnant With Little Frankie

I'm Not A Franken *stein
I'm Not I'm Not I'm Not

Wait Till Dad Hears I'm
Pregnant With Little Frankie

Vanessa: I wonder if I should have worn a blue dress like Monica?

Al: Anyone have any cigars?

"I swear, Al Franken's got eyes in the back of his head."

While Al Franken unsuccessfully tries to energize Iowa voters, a very bored Vanessa Kerry is mesmerized by Franken's bald spot.

Venessa Kerry, the daughter of Presidential candidate John Kerry wonders what else she must do to get the Paris Hilton gig.

AL Franken: You deserve a better, stronger Air America . Sorry I meant.....

Vanessa: When daddy has his first White House reception, I am going to make sure he invites the granson of Chirac. I hear he's hot.

Vanessa Kerry is hallucinating: Gosh, why did I come to this, lets go over what I could have done instead of listening to this bullcrap. I might have gotten laid, I could have read a Russian novel, I could have gone out, (ooooh, I wonder if I can get a twinkie from the vending machine), I it me or does Al Franken remind you of a never-shuts-up twinkie? Im so horny, I could just eat Al Franken! Ewww, nevermind that. Maybe I could take him to Dillard's, hey I should tell daddie that Al Franken needs attention, because he seems very lonely. I think one of my daddies hookers might chear him up, after all he is a democrat.

I wonder if I can leave, I am the Asshole of the United States' daughter. I guess not, hmmmmm....

1 DAY LATER-

This is getting rediculous, why can't this man shut up? Why is this so bad? I feal like im in the desert here. It's hot, I wonder where the thermostat, as the daughter of someone, wait hold, I forgot. What was I saying? What is Al Franken saying? O yea, WE DESERVE A BETTER AMERICA, FOR US AND FOR OUR........ gimme a break, he copied that from daddie, or did daddie get that from him? I WANT MY DADDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, heres another one I thought was hillarious: A New Gallup Survey of Al Franken Audiences Shows 35% Left After Finding Out It Wasn't A Live Taping of Oprah, 21% Interrupted the Speech Saying "My Name's Jim, and I'm an Alcoholic," and 11% Were Only There Because All The Good Park Benches Were Taken.

Yet again, another on, because it is so much fun to create these.

Al Franken as the crap comedian he is, thinks he will tell his croud consisting of a couple in the corner aggresivley making out, and 3 other homeless guys, oh and of coarse Vanessa Kerry, who is definately "wink" a hard core fan. Anyway, to break the ice Al Franken thought he would tell people about, " Two honkies walk into a bar, and one of them say's to the other, vote for John Kerry everybody, goodnight" and leaves, because he got nervous.

As Al Franken rambles on, a distracted Vanessa Kerry discovers tilting her head and squinting brings into sharper focus the "666" tattooed on the back of Franken's head.

Sore Losers,
While Kerry sounds a little humbled in his speech, John F-words sounded a bit bitter with his " until we're one America!" comment. Did he mean Socialism? It seems the Moral showed a slight Majority and is pulling in the Right direction. If you want something factual and funny to help convert the Liberal Lemmings, check out www.bluezcity.com for a free musical laugh at the left. Clicking on my name should get you there for some Hillary humor, and Kerry and Kennedy Komedy.