Club for Growth

During the Presidential debate, Sen John Kerry rebutts Bush's weird facial expressions.

John Kerry's aides could be overheard saying, "He couldn't even reach homeplate when he threw out the opening pitch at Fenway, what makes him think he can catch a football in that postion? He throws like a girl and catches like our party's mascot."

After a terrible pictures of John Kerry having difficulty catching a foot ball. A new campaign strategy has been revealed! Kerry attempts to use his hand and other orifice to complete a pass.

DNC Chairman Terry MCauliffe "Our polling data show that many Americans believe that Kerry's an anal retentive individual who will keep his eyes on the ball."

John Kerry demonstrates the United Nations recommended protocol for catching an American football.

"Now this is how we play football at hallowed Lambert Field!"

A stem cell research mishap results in an arm protruding from Kerry back-side. Kerry said, "This will not stop my support for stem-cell research. Nor will it end my run for the Presidency!"

My forward vision is very blurred...

Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry gives a demonstration of his nuanced position on the war in Iraq.

Oh, God, he's doing it again. Don't look -- it'll only encourage him.

Kerry throws a football in the direction he will take America.

If you look at my position on Irag like this, you can see clearly where I'm headed with this.

In Thursday’s debate, Kerry makes ridiculous underhand statements; the next day he throws a ridiculous underhand pass. Ever wonder why Kerry’s economics are backwards? Because he sees everything upside down. His strange foot ball methodology reflects his bizarre foreign policy.
To summarize, Kerry twisted the truth to make himself look good; now he twists his body and looks downright silly.

Senator Kerry tries to pull out another answer to a difficult question.

Jean-Francois, after studying how Bobby Fischer used facial contortions to throw off Boris Spassky in the historic chess duel, demonstrates a trick he has developed for the next debate.

Sen. Kerry frantically reaches for the football after he realized he has hiked it in a specific direction.

Kerry's staff are left wondering if he's a 'pitcher' or a 'catcher'.

John Kerry hikes the football to his friend Congressman Ben Chandler (D-KY). Kerry later said: "Throwing this pigskin around is as close as I will ever get to the 'football,' but Ben will be in the U.S. Senate soon if the Club for Growth gives him a pass this year."

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John Kerry takes a break from his busy campaign schedule to pull another position on the issues out of his ass.

Democratic candidate John Kerry removes his head from his ass in an attempt to catch an incoming football. Against the advice of aides (right), Kerry waited until after the debate to commence removal.

If John Kerry can truly pull a football out of his bottom without splitting his pants as seen in this photo, then he may just win the Presidential election and we are all doomed.

A jubilant Jean-Francois says, "If you would like to see all the other things I can pull out of my ass, then please look at my plans for America on my website."

Aides look on as John Kerry attempts to remove the mainstream media's lips from his behind.

"You know I'm pretty good at this. 'I wonder what Kofi and Jacques would think of an international football team?' The U.N. Appeasers has a nice ring to it.' Osama and Kim wouldn't stand a chance.'"