Club for Growth

"Hey, Dan, why does this establishment serve champagne in these weird barrel glasses?" John Kerry asked a stunned bar patron Dan DiMaggio.

"Mmmmmm. This is good, what do they call it again?" John Kerry asks a fellow bar patron Joe Schmoe at a local pub in WI earlier today. When asked later about the talk, Schmoe responded that Kerry kept inching closer to him and "asking how much I worked out and commenting on my 'big muscles and strong hands', he also mentioned what a great tan I have."

Note that in all the pictures the the glass is filled to the very top. This seems odd considering there are three different photos of him taking a sip of the beer. Does he actually ever swallow any of the beer or wasit at his mouth only long enough to get the photo-op.

"The bitterness of this beer reminds me of the bitterness I felt when witnessing atrocities performed by my 'Band of Brothers' with the full awareness of officers at all levels of command."

Senator John Kerry fails in his attempt to distract Dan DiMaggio, at the Main Street Pub in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin.

"At first, Kerry was commenting about the 'frozen thunder at Lambert field,' and trying to get me to look at the TV" said DiMaggio. He added, "I just laughed it off, thinking maybe Kerry had been here awhile already. But then when he said to check out the cocktail waitress at the table in the corner, I suspected something. I just turned around quick, and saw him trying to drink my beer."

Kerry later said that he was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time, trying to get a drink from the wrong person. He added, "I drank my beer before I ordered it."

John Kerry solicits for votes by telling a voter about his favorite beer. After Kerry left, the voter said "We started talking about our favorite beers, but then Kerry spent five minutes talking about his service in Vietnam. I didn't know Kerry single handedly defeated the Viet Cong. Honestly, that's what he said."

John Kerry sips his beer after asking a local patron if Lambert Field was named after his favorite Packer Jack Lambert.

Senator Kerry in the Wisconsin plain,
A cold beer in his hand to drain,
To his neighbor he did wallow,
Though not a drop did he swallow,
As he asked him to to save his campaign.

So, come here often? Yep, nothing looks better than a clean white t-shirt. Say, does your wife iron? Mine...doesn't.

Barkeep! How about a couple of beignets and some rum cooler for the sailor and I?

As Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry has a beer with patron Dan DiMaggio at the Main Street Pub in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin, Mr. DiMaggio is overheard saying, "You're such a phony! We're in Wisconsin...drink a Miller Lite instead of that imported European crap. It tastes great and it's less filling."

"Dan DiMaggio. And you are...?"

John Kerry sips his French Chablis -- an aide had refilled his beer stein with wine -- while Green Bay Packers fan Dan DiMaggio asks him about Lambert Field.

John Kerry remarks to bar patron Dan DiMaggio in a muffled voice "Dude, did they take the picture yet? Don't look away, did they take the picture yet? I can't keep this Milwaukee swill in my mouth any longer!"

In an attempt to appeal to suburban male voters, John Kerry challenges a local Wisconsonite to a chugging contest, one sip at a time. Problem is, the man was drinking 7-Up and was the designated driver for his group that night.

Hey, it wasn't me. I don't fart. It was that Secret Service guy.

At the Main Street pub today, Kerry said to Dan, "Oh, that's a great way to keep the beer off the front of my shirt!" Dan guessed Kerry was referring to the straw, because Dan noticed that Kerry kept missing his mouth. Dan realized that Kerry kept changing his mind, flopping his head one way, then the other so that very little beer managed to stay in Kerry's mouth. Dan thought, "No wonder this flip-flop needs my straw!"

While campaigning at the Main Street Pub in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin, John Kerry spit beer back into a mug after realizing it was not champagne.

Kerry toasts Congressman Ben Chandler of Kentucky, who despite his voting record is NOT an out of touch liberal.

So John, How does a tall flake like yourself marry two super rich chicks and still call the shots.

John Francois Kerry demonstrates the nuanced way he drinks beer -- just like the rest of the common riff-raff. Conversation, naturally, covers his harrowing 4 months aboard a Swift Boat in Vietnam -- with special emphasis on his horrific band-aid wounds. When asked by Mr. DiMaggio, Kerry declined to show his non-existent scars.

Listen Carefully
Wait Ten Minutes Then Leave
You'll See A Large Black SUV
Get In On The Driverside Rear
If My Wife Ever Asks You I Was Just Showing
You My Medal Collection