Club for Growth

A reporter on the campaign trail over hears Teresa Heinz Kerry say, "Enough already, three kisses is enough. No more. I mean it!", as she tries to pull her husband, Presidential candidate John Kerry, away from the star of the movie What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

John Kerry is torn between his love of money and his love of beauty. Kerry said, "Leo is a beautiful guy, but my wife is so filthy rich. It was a touch choice, but I think I made the right one. Besides, I don't know if gay marriage is legal here in Oregon."

When Kerry met DiCaprio
His confusion began to show:
The tiring campaign
Mixed movies in his brain
And John said, "Never let go!"

"Leave him alone!!! That's NOT Jim McGreevey!!!", said Teresa Heinz Kerry as she attempted to pull her husband, Le Senateur, away from actor Leonardo DiCaprio.

Presidential candidate Kerry gives advice to actor Leonardo DiCaprio suggesting that he quit working so hard making movies and simply marry a wealthy heiress.

Kerry talks the boy down from the tower by promising him that Burger Barn will only serve Heinz Ketchup

In the photo John Kerry explains the deferment process.

More trouble is brewing on the horizon for Kerry...

“I believe very deeply that it was a noble effort to begin with. I signed up. I volunteered -- ****I wanted to go over there**** and I wanted to win.” -- John Kerry, Meet the Press (2001)

REVEALED

Kerry sought a ****deferment****, but was denied. The very same thing that Dick Cheney received...and in which Theresa Heinz Kerry labeled as being "unpatriotic."

"When he approached his draft board for permission to study for a year in Paris, the draft board refused and Kerry decided to enlist in the Navy." Harvard Crimson, February 18, 1970.

Original article in full:
http://www.thecrimson.com/printerfriendly.aspx?ref=352185

"I won't be gone long, darling. Right now I have to go take care of this old lady."

You little people are such fools. That is why you refuse to bow when I speak. You will get yours, you idiots. John & I know what is best for you peasants even though you do not. We long so for the good days, the European days of elegance when royality was respected. Ants!!! Insects!!! Middle class riff-raff. You make fun of us because we do not pay taxes on my $3.2 billion in assets. You make fun of us because we pay the bare minimum of 0.983% in taxes on my $80M/yr income while I support a 30% tax on any family earning over $100,000. You ignorant scum. I suport the outsourcing of all the Heinz manufacturing plants and their thousands of jobs so that my income will grow even more while my husband tells you about all the bad outsourcing plotted by evil US corporations. Worship me and my waned beauty or I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!

Now Listen Young Man
She's My Wife
You'll Get Over Her
Be Strong
Go